BootCamp Journals

The BootCamp Journals is a compliation of notes I wrote to my mother while I was in BootCamp (Great Lakes, IL) during the summer of 1995 and at Officer Candidate School, Pensacola during the winter of 1997. I'm posting this Journal for several reasons - first and foremost so that I can keep a lasting record of my experiences in the military.

Secondly, if you want to know where you're going, you've gotta know where you've been, correct? So I'm posting it all up here as an easy reference of what it was all like as the days go buy. During the days of BootCamp, I would keep a notepad in the back pocket of my dungarees, and I'd quickly jot stuff down whenever I ran across a feeling, image, or experience that I thought was worth holding onto - for whatever reason. Some things I wrote down were just to give my family back home an idea of what it was like. I've reviewed all the letters before posting them here - and let's face it, they're letters to my mother and some things should remain private and aren't any of your prying eye's business - so don't be mislead into thinking you'll be reading an unabridged version of my life's experiences. But you WILL be reading about what it was like, or just what happened to be bouncing around during MattLand's psyche on any given day.

A friend of mine wrote the other day, and she talked about how her memories of the time we spent together as a group in ATC school take up a huge chunk of her mind's available memories. Oddly enough, but the times of BootCamp and A school are the same for me - it seems like I lived more 'life' in that period of what probably only adds up to 7 months total than I have since then... at least when it comes to the memories that I have access to in my pounding skull. She said the whole experience left an odd aftertaste in her mind.... she's a better writer than I'll ever be.

A final reason for the BootCamp Journals?, because even though the early days of my career in the Navy take up most of my lifes memories, they'll fade one day. One day I'll get out of the military, and other memories will start to take the place of these. I've told my mother a million times that the thing I can't stand about being in the military is that you're always saying good-bye to someone, usually right after you've just met them or when you think you've finally found a friend. I've never been good at saying goodbye, and it ruins me everytime - to the point where I'm hesitant to meet people since I'm just going to have to say goodbye all over again! In true MattLand form, these journals help keep me from ever truly having to say adios, since they keep the memories of everyone and everything alive.

Angie, it's all dedicated to you.

Matty

1st Days...

5-30-95

Hi Mom!!!

I got your letters today!! It made my day (not to mention my two weeks here @ RTC). It's a bright spot in the day to read mail from home. And trust me, it's a long day. We get up, on average, at 0345-0445. We go to bed at 2200. Sometimes the CC (Company Commander) wakes us up by throwing a garbage can (metal) down the length of the barracks.

My age, as compared to that of most others here, is making quite a difference. Most guys are 18 or 19, and I think they look to me as a sort of father figure. I give advice and answer questions all day long. I've been given a job, too. I'm the division 'yeoman'. That means I do all the paperwork. Great, another desk job!! .....'cycling' is pushups, situps, jumping jacks, etc. until someone drops to the floor.. No joke, ambulances are a common thing around here, I see at least three or four a day - including some that come to our division. I saw one guy collapse and go into convulsions - he's okay now, though. I don't like that I've become, because of my age, the unofficial 'camp counselor'. In the past 2 days, I've talked to 2 guys about suicide (they showed me the scars - their (sic) not with us here in DIV 286 anymore), several sexual abuses, lots of neglected, & 2 homeless guys who lived out of trash cans before they joined the Navy. It makes me feel like I've had a blessed life so far.

6-2-95

OK, I got busy for a couple of days and maybe now I can finish this. I'm starting to figure out that the best time for me to write letters is on Sunday's. That's what's called 'Ricky Sunday'. From 0700 to 1300 we can do whatever we want (within reason). There's no one yelling at you, you're not getting marched all over the base, you can go to church (no, I haven't gone yet) or you can just walk around and check out the parks, etc.

Please save my letters, because this is the only form of journal I'm going to be able to keep while I'm here. Also, the things I write will maybe give you some insight on what it's like here:

- The crab-apple trees, when in bloom, are BEAUTIFUL. They're huge!!

- The service week crews at mess hall (recruits in their 5th week) sweep down on the tables as soon as your division leaves, and as you're watching them clean - you realize that it only took two minutes for it to look like you'd never been there at all. - especially since it took quite a bit of effort to get there in the first place!

- The CC was yelling at a recruit one day because his fly was down. I stand there (at attention) in terror wondering if maybe, on a small chance, my fly is down, too.

- After you eat your meals, and the division lines up outside on the 'grinder' (asphalt parking lot), you're standing behind 2 huge garbage cans that reek of decay and sometimes death. It makes you want to throw up what you just ate! Why do they make us stand there?

- Every weekend you see another group of people graduating. It's both depressing and exciting to see them go. You realize that it's not you that's leaving Great Lakes, but you ARE one week closer.

Mom, I gotta go for now. I'll try to write mostly on Sundays. Tell everyone what my situation is, and apologize for my delay in writing. I gotton (sic) LOTS of letters from you, and I read each one twice. I've also gotten 2 from Karen and 1 from Dad. All of them really brighten my day. Things are getting much better around here, but I still miss home so bad it aches.

I love you,

Matt