I Hate...

I've been a fan of Bigmuscle.com for a long time - but there are a couple of things about it that tend to REALLY irritate me - and as such serve to highlight a personality issue of some gay men that ALSO really irritates me.

Narcissism.

I've mentioned before that the site is full of all types, that use it for all sorts of different reasons - whether it be a hook-up, a friend, a social network, or even a little self-adoration.  The self-adoration part I don't really have a problem with - but the prevalent gay-mentality of body worship has (and still does) rub me the wrong way.  I LOVE seeing pics of regular guys who have - or maybe even haven't quite - achieved something of themselves physically.  It's a testament to their hard work and devotion.  I can even cut them some slack if they're using steroids - since I know that regardless of what they may shoot into their ass, it STILL takes some amount of work and dedication.

What I HATE are the narcissitic fucks who take the time, energy, and money to go get professional pictures taken.  NOTHING says insecurity like 'make me look pretty'.  I won't lump the guys that have pictures taken in the pursuit of their professional career into that category - but sites like Bigmuscle (to me, at least) should be about REAL men, with candid shots of who THEY are - not what they want you to believe they are.

Sums up some of my feelings about the gay community in general - a bunch of peacocks running around trying to have the flashiest feathers.

Let the 'self-loathing' comments begin...

Comments

[ed]

While I can't quibble with your comments on narcissism, it really bakes down to marketing. With so much emphasis on looks, the currency of the realm, if you will, this is what we have created. And, given that there is a bit of deception in online hook-up, etc. sites, having a prof photog somehow adds credibility. So, yea, I agree that it's annoying and yet another example of our self-involved narcissism, but we have created the monster and it is us.

[txwoof]

Hey,

You should probably check out the sister site. Bigmusclebear.com. I think this site has more of varied type of guy. The older I've got the more I don't deal with types. Sexy comes in all shapes, ages and sizes.

Jim

[vaara]

"a bunch of peacocks running around trying to have the flashiest feathers"

I think it was Edmund White who once observed, "The men of Dallas wear their muscles like feather boas."

[Jason]

AMEN

[Steve]

Yes, paying to have professional pics taken is one thing (gross), but a lot of people had their pics taken for free by Walter Kurtz and Raymond Dragon (and others). These photographers don't have a lot of money, some of them are working on books (which probably won't make them a lot of money in the nude man book market anyway), and they need subjects, for practice, dun, or whatever.

In the case of the one I worked with, I signed a release for the one pic he was going to use, he can't use the rest without my permission, and it was a fun flattering experience for me. If he hadn't asked me, it wouldn't have happened. I have a handful of friends on BigMuscle who did the same sort of thing. I have written extensively on the vanity of BigMuscle and what it might mean, but if someone wants to take a picture of me and it turns out nice, why the hell not? And for the record, my body is average at best. Just a couple of cents.

Matty Says: Thanks for the comment Steve. Sounds like you got your professional pics the 'humble way'... which is just fine by me! Thanks for reading...

[txwoof]

After living in DC for 9 years then Ft. Worth for 5, and traveling to pretty much every major city in the US and Australia. I can report that gay people look the same everywhere. To the point, where it almost get's disturbing. I can also report there are boa-muscle-wearing men everywhere. I've seen JR's.

As for the photographs, I've only been asked for free. I've had mine also taken by a guy who does gay artwork. The other time was for a website, and the latest was for a photo book in Aus. I've never paid to have mine taken. The other poster is correct in that a lot of these were probably taken for free.

[jay lassiter]

We're narcistic because we're insecure. and we're insecure becuase we are marginalized.

Not to be immodest, but i am bright, good looking and i have a big dick. Yet i was pretty much uncomfy in my own skin till recently. (when i turned 30)

Being gay is still hard, even in the best of circumstances, and so long as that is the case, gay men will tend to (as you suggest) look alike anywhere in the world for example.

This blog is fresh and smart. where have you been all my life?

[ExcuseMeExcuseMe]

Marginalized?

If this generation of gay men (there's the giveaway) were ever marginalized they might have developed some empathy with their own. Instead, this insecure narcissism has turned into a weapon.

Good golly…it’s hard work being gay even when one is bright, good looking and encumbered by a big dick.

[moby]

I thought I was the only person who thought all the fluffy pics were pretentious. I like seeing the real world pics of guys there. I come away feeling like I get to share in a part of who they are.

I often skip or ignore the ones w/all the professional shots.

[farmboyz]

OK. I'm with you on the narcissism/self loathing thing, but would you please explain how you can countenance someone shooting drugs into their ass over someone using a studio-generated photo? If one were to list gradations of self adoration, I'd think that drug shooting is much more extreme than being photographed to one's best advantage. (But, this would be an outsider's point of view, as I have never done either).
I totally agree with you about which men really look hot. A regular oxygen breathing guy is always more of a turn on than the factoried replicants.
PS: that's a rather professional looking black and white photo of your well developed back up there on the masthead of your blog. Does it come with a disclaimer?

[homer]

I'm wondering if some of the guys having professional pictures are merely seeking to document the way the looked at a particular time. When they get older they can haul out the pictures and say, "This is me back in the good old days."

[jimmy]

"The self-adoration part I don't really have a problem with - but the prevalent gay-mentality of body worship has (and still does) rub me the wrong way."

So, what, in the end, are you saying?

MATTY SAYS: Hell, usually I have no idea what I'm saying! Seriously though, in my wishy-washy way I'm saying that a little bit of narcissism is ok, and maybe even healthy - but the most visable or prevalent gay community's (if there is such a thing) fixation on appearance as the cornerstone of its existence really puts me off. Does that make sense??

[J]

They have a policy now that if you join up they will review your pictures and if your photos don't fit in the with the 'theme' of the site, they will cancel your profile.

So if you're not 'muscular' enough then you're not allowed to hang out with the muscle boys.

Gay guys love to discriminate against each other.. if it's not enough that we have to deal with this in other areas we have to take it from the gay body fascists too...

[Keith]

I agree. While Bill and Andy do not have "perfect" bodies in any way, there are a lot of us on there that have done an incredible amount of work. I have gone from 255 fat pounds to 215 much more muscular pounds. I am still not where I want to be, but hey, I have some a very long way!